Me First

How many times have you been pulled so many different directions that you forgot your starting point? You constantly find yourself rushing to others and tending to their needs only to later look back and find your life has completely unraveled.

As a kid we’re taught the valuable lesson of sharing. You had to share your toys,  your candy, games, basketball, dolls, etc. Anything that someone else wanted to use or have that belonged to YOU, you were told to share it. We were taught this way to instill the behavior of not being selfish. Although this is a necessity trait that’s needed in daily life, it was the beginning  which started the mindset of giving up a piece of yourself to others.

Think about it. If you’re constantly giving a piece of you away, how can you ever be whole?

I can’t help but to think of the many times that I have unselfishly given myself to people, my career, others dreams, and different projects. Furthermore, giving myself to those who were underserving of my time. I would sometimes focus so much on others and their issues that it would cause me to put myself on the backburner. One day I found myself no longer knowing who I was and had forgotten about all of the things that made me happy. I had put on weight, was overwhelmed and lived a predictable life. You can give so much of yourself that you become depleted.

From that moment I decided to become selfish! 

Yes, we were taught that being selfish was a bad thing and I still believe part of that to be true. However, there needs to be a balance of being selfish. That’s simply apart of self-care and self-love. How can you always be there for others if you don’t take care of you first? Sometimes the Super Hero needs to be saved.

Many times people ask me why do I always seem so happy and have a “glow” about me. Trust me, my life is far from everything I desire. I still have many things to personally work on and sometimes I feel like my life is a complete mess. However, I decided to take small steps for the betterment of myself.

A few things I do for self care are:

  • Remove myself from negative people and situations. These are vultures who only want to take from you and suck the life out of you. I don’t care if I’ve known someone since childhood, if they’re negative…they’re draining me.
  • Taking time alone to know what I truly love and do it. I remember when I wanted to go to the movies and had no one to go with. I was kind of nervous thinking I would stick out as being “the girl who’s at the movies by herself”, but I conquered  it and truly enjoyed it. I’m making it a habit now.
  • Pampering myself and enjoying the moment. Like most, I’m the type of person who loves to be massaged. I also love getting my eyebrows waxed and tweezed because the plucking is relaxing to me as well (don’t judge me). Lol
  • Knowing my limits and saying “no”. Yes, it may hurt the receiving party, but it’s going to hurt me more if I crash.
  • Spending time with family and friends. Both are equally important and a major part of my life that brings me joy. They’re my safe haven to be totally vulnerable and restored.
  • Praying while taking in beautiful sceneries. Something about trees, greenery and water does it for me. Hearing and becoming one with nature brings peace and is my element.
  • Picking up new hobbies, reading books, learning and trying new things, traveling and food pretty much sums the rest up.

I want to challenge you to take some time out for yourself. Start pouring into you just as much as you do for others. In life we should have a balance of giving to ourselves and exploring the things that we love. You don’t want to be the person who never took time out to care for yourself.

Remember your starting point when you were the young child who immediately said “mine!” My life, my time, my peace, and my happiness.

In order for us to give out, we have to give within. 

27 thoughts on “Me First”

      1. I’m so loving this Charmaine this is so inspirational to me cause this is how I been feeling I’m always doing and helping other people but what about me I’m going to save this to my phone and have a bless and wonderful day sweetheart love you to the moon and back with yo beautiful self😘

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    2. I love this Charmaine I pray God will continue to bless you along the way throughout your journey in life. You are such an inspiration to other’s and myself God bless you hunni absolutely beautiful

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  2. You can’t just keep giving & sharing and not getting it back in return. You’re right we were taught to share as kids but also you hit a good point you have to kind of be selfish and learn how to balance it. This was a great READ.

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  3. So many people need to read such positivity. Thank you for being transparent and open, which allows others to do the same. Very proud of you, great things are coming your way.

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  6. I LOVE it!!!! I’m so proud of you. Continue to live your life unapologetic and allow Holy Spirit to guide you. Love you to life lady 😘

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  7. You’ve just put a lot into perspective in these few paragraphs. I think it’s time to do a lot of readjusting and reevaluating. Being selfish may allow me to give me and be a better wife and mother. I thank you 💖

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  8. I love this…i started feeling the same way and I made some changes and I feel so much better. Learning to say no was the biggest change for the best in my life. Love you and continue to walk in YOU.

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  9. Awesome read! No one else matters, it’s about me. If I don’t take care of me first, how can I be there for anyone else. And if someone does not understand that, then leave them were they may. Great read… Continue glowing.

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